Meow, Click

Aaaaw...Cuddly

Warning: this story includes my personal opinion about cats.

This story is only funny because it turned out OK.  I received a phone call at 8:30 in the morning from a friend of mine who is part of our church.  She sounded pretty cool, calm and collected, so I didn’t expect what came next.  Turns out she was in a storage room (no windows, no heat) in her house when her cat knocked over a piece of furniture that knocked into the door.  The door happened to be locked (from the outside).  The door closed on my friend and vuala! – locked and alone.  Meanwhile a meowing cat (probably complaining about kitty litter or not enough catnip) paced outside the room.

Fortunately she had her phone in her pocket and rang me up.  After a few calls, and a brother-in-law with a spare key and a video camera, she was free from her feline imprisoner, and on to the rest of her day.

No point here.  Just an awesome story about why Julie needs to consider getting a dog.

Did I forget to give you my personal opinion about cats?  Oh.  Well, I hate to alienate friends who like cats.  So, I won’t.

Two Hobbies (Part 2)

If you haven’t read (Part 1) yet, you might want to.  Or not.  Obviously it’s up to you.

I’m sharing two of my hobbies.  The first one was about smiling at people (surprisingly more difficult to pull of than you might think).  The second one is far less noble and in fact I’m kind of confessing my depraved self to you.  It’s this: I like to entertain super mean ideas.  I’ll explain.  I think of the most random and mean things to say or do when people wouldn’t expect them.  For instance: I’m out to dinner and the people at the next table have a little baby who is cooing and babbling – not even crying or fussing – and I fantasize about turning around abruptly and yelling, “Shut up!  Shut that baby up!” and then calmly returning to my hamburger.

I know.  Mean, right?  I’m sorry.  This stuff really goes through my head.  Here’s another one: I was at Western Theological Seminary the other day and there were people setting up for a fancy dinner that will happen later that evening.  The people were food service caterers from Hope College (which is a little sister of a school to Northwestern College in Orange City, IA).  I thought to myself – self, you should march in there like you have authority and strongly assert the following: “No, no, no!  We expressly asked for the RED tablecloths!  Aaargh!” and then storming out.

You might have some of these thoughts from time to time, but I really do have them about 20 times a day.  Mostly it’s cathartic for me.  I would never do any of those things.  They’re mean.  Might be funny, but mostly mean.  But now you know that about me.  Sorry if I blew my cover.  I’m really quite human.

What are some of your secret hobbies?  Seriously, tell me.  I would love to know.  I promise it feels good to get them out in the open.  Share them here.