Home > Friday Mornings > Two Hobbies (Part 2)

Two Hobbies (Part 2)

If you haven’t read (Part 1) yet, you might want to.  Or not.  Obviously it’s up to you.

I’m sharing two of my hobbies.  The first one was about smiling at people (surprisingly more difficult to pull of than you might think).  The second one is far less noble and in fact I’m kind of confessing my depraved self to you.  It’s this: I like to entertain super mean ideas.  I’ll explain.  I think of the most random and mean things to say or do when people wouldn’t expect them.  For instance: I’m out to dinner and the people at the next table have a little baby who is cooing and babbling – not even crying or fussing – and I fantasize about turning around abruptly and yelling, “Shut up!  Shut that baby up!” and then calmly returning to my hamburger.

I know.  Mean, right?  I’m sorry.  This stuff really goes through my head.  Here’s another one: I was at Western Theological Seminary the other day and there were people setting up for a fancy dinner that will happen later that evening.  The people were food service caterers from Hope College (which is a little sister of a school to Northwestern College in Orange City, IA).  I thought to myself – self, you should march in there like you have authority and strongly assert the following: “No, no, no!  We expressly asked for the RED tablecloths!  Aaargh!” and then storming out.

You might have some of these thoughts from time to time, but I really do have them about 20 times a day.  Mostly it’s cathartic for me.  I would never do any of those things.  They’re mean.  Might be funny, but mostly mean.  But now you know that about me.  Sorry if I blew my cover.  I’m really quite human.

What are some of your secret hobbies?  Seriously, tell me.  I would love to know.  I promise it feels good to get them out in the open.  Share them here.

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  1. Dave
    April 28, 2011 at 6:49 pm

    Back when our family first tried to get connected to the internet, we bought an ‘external modem’ from a major computer retailer. Trouble was, it had compatibility issues with our IPS – and the store wouldn’t take it back, even though they said it would work. I went all the way to the State Attorney General to try to get my money back; no go. (I will say this: I tried to return the product after the alloted time & I had clipped the UPC from the box for a rebate – which I never got, either. I could see their point – but hey – when you tell me something will work and it doesn’t, work with the customer. But I digress…)

    So…because this was back in the computer-age (late 1990’s) when software came on those small floppy discs (which were magnetic in nature), I really wanted to put magnets in my pockets and then walk up & down the store aisles where the software was displayed, hoping to erase what was on those precious discs.

    But I didn’t. At least I don’t think I did. But I sure was ticked & didn’t purchase anything from that company for about 10 years

  2. April 28, 2011 at 8:38 pm

    Ooooooh. Revenge is a strong motivator. Thanks for sharing your story. I feel a little more human.

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