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Ruining My Life!

My children have very little control over their environment.  They go to bed at an established time (for the most part).  They get up and go to school, having been appropriately dressed and having eaten some semblance of nutrition (for the most part).  They come home from school and have to finish any homework before they get to watch pre-approved television programming, and…they have to eat at least some of everything we make for dinner.  They have very little control over their environment.

Here is something they do have control over: how they treat each other and how they treat their opressive overlord parents.  They have to deal with the consequences of said treatment, but…it’s up to them.

Yesterday we dropped a load of terrible news on my son: First, his cousin would not be attending Thanksgiving at our house.  Second, he would have to get up and go to church at First Church, our parent church, where they play the organ and he has to dress up a bit.  He had zero control over either of these, but in his mind we had control over both of them, and so he took matters into his own hands – or mouth I should say.

He started being a real meanie to his dad – the source of all his hardship.  Now, I love my son.  He has the capacity to be kind and gentle.  He also is a little to smart for his own good – including his verbal skills.  The kid can weave together a string of far too elegant phrases intentionally designed to hurt your feelings.  I know he’s eight, but, dang!

And so, being the adult in the relationship, I tried to receive the blunt force of his verbal barrage until it reached downright hurtful.  I guess he did have a little control over his environment last night…he headed to bed a bit earlier than his parents’ plan – all of his own accord.  But I have to believe that I’m not “Ruining his life” as he so often accuses me of.  But his need is to find out what things he can affect and what things he needs to trust me on.

God must think I’m eight sometimes.

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Categories: Uncategorized
  1. Dawn
    December 6, 2011 at 2:10 pm

    Powerfully insightful – thanks.

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